What a Difference a Year Makes

Last Christmas we were praying for a baby, as we had been for quite some time. I remember crying out of frustration but still trying to remain strong and make rational decisions.

Last Christmas my husband and I celebrated as usual but inside I was torn. I just couldn’t figure out why this was happening to us.

Last Christmas our largest gift to one another was paying for our IVF process and the IVF medication that we had delivered just a few days before. Because at this point we had given up trying things on our own at home.

Last Christmas I was afraid. Afraid of what the medication would do to my body. Afraid of the long needles that I would be using throughout the day. Afraid that we would fail yet again because I was too weak to complete our first IVF cycle. Afraid that we were putting all of our savings into something that could potentially still fail.

Last Christmas I forced myself to act as though I was fine. When I absolutely was not.

Last Christmas I was pregnant, and we had no idea.

This Christmas, no one can tell me that prayer doesn’t work. My God changes things! We still needed some help to conceive but ironically, an at-home system had worked.

This Christmas instead of praying for a baby, I am praying for my son.

This Christmas we will get to celebrate as a family with our now four month old.

This Christmas gifts really don’t matter because the best gift that we could have ever received is our son.

This Christmas I am unafraid. I know that God will always make a way. And that it will be the right way for me, for my family.

This Christmas I am elated. The joy and happiness in my heart is incomparable to anything I have ever felt.

This Christmas our baby boy is here and for that I can only thank God.